Disappointment is a Failed Recipe

Seven weeks ago, I started a new "diet" where I have switched over to whole wheat and cut out sugar, including sugar in other things. I have been feeling a lot better, and have seen some nice weight loss results. It's all been rather exciting. :)

However, I am a baker at heart. I genuinely love the craft. In fact, I think I enjoy the baking process more than the actual eating of baked goods. I love that it has specific rules, but if you know enough about baking science, you can adapt those rules to create and improve new recipes. Thanks to the internet and Food Network, this has been made possible. It's truly a stress release for me. It's my happy place. Being in the kitchen, some music playing, measuring ingredients, and coming out with a product that makes everyone in the house go, "Mmmm...that smell's amazing."

So honestly, the thought that I cannot eat anything sweet isn't a huge disappointment to me when it comes to baking. However, it does make it a little more difficult to find a reason to bake. My parents aren't eating sweets very much right now either, neither are my friends, and it's very difficult to mail anything except for cookies or brownies to Corey or Steven.

Nevertheless, I had a desire, no, a need, to bake a cake today. Every once in a while I get this need. It's strange. It comes over me in a giant wave, and I can't rest until I've made it. But cakes are extremely irritating, because who just makes a cake for no reason? It needs to be for a party, right? After, wracking my brain for an excuse, I decided I would just make one, feed it to my parents, and pawn the rest off on their Bible study tomorrow.

I decided on yellow cake with chocolate frosting. That's one of my favorites. However, I have never found a yellow cake recipe that I love. Upon purusing the internet, I found a recipe that had met rave reviews from everyone who had tried it. One woman said it was so good that her husband's coworker had asked how much the baker would charge to buy the recipe! Wow. I was convinced. I printed it out, and went to work.

I was hesistant, because the directions didn't follow the methods I was used to seeing. But the woman who wrote the recipe swore up and down, that she thought her lack of using the "creaming method" was the key to her cake's success. I decided to take her word on it. Now I'm wishing I hadn't.

When I removed the three layers from the oven, they were dense and thin. "Odd," I thought, "But maybe they're supposed to be like that."

After letting them cool, I assembled them with some homemade Chocolate Buttercream. Actually, the frosting came out beautifully. It might be my new go to chocolate frosting. :)

I assembled the cake, and it looked nice. Short, but nice. :)

I cut my parents a slice, and I could feel the denseness as the knife went through. Oh no...

My parents said it tasted good, but it felt like poundcake, and kind of tough. I took a very miniscule bite, and was saddened. All my hard work and the result was tasty, but strangely spongy and dense.

For a recipe that was so wildly raved about, I wonder what went wrong. It's almost like the cake didn't rise. My only thought is that my baking powder was bad. Weird stuff. I was all excited to blog about a triumphant cake, and give credit to the website where I found it, but as it is, I think I'll skip that. I wouldn't want a terrible review of what was clearly supposed to be a wonderful cake. Maybe our oven's on the fritz...

So my quest remains, and my deep need to bake a cake has been quenched until next time. For now, I will search and search until I have found another recipe I can try. Until then, our house shall be cake-less. But that's not so bad for me. I guess I'll just eat my sugar-free ice cream. ;)

--Hannah

One Step Closer

Hey friends! As usual, it's been a pretty long time. However, I figured it was about time I announced some pretty exciting news. :)

What you see above is the front page of my Keynote acceptance packet. Yes, that's right friends. I am officially a new staff member with Cru! Or as it is officially called "New Staff Trainee". :) I won't be an official staff member until after New Staff Training. It's all very exciting.

Now starts the process of writing support letters, making contact lists, and lots and lots of prayer. It's crazy, because I feel like so much prayer has already gone into the process, but looking through the packet is a reminder of how much we have to trust on God for His provision.

As most of you know, it's hard for me to not have a concrete plan, or even not having a basic plan with "wiggle room". God has asked me to step outside of my comfort zone so many times in this area over the past year. I know that He has grown me through it, but that does not mean that it comes easily by any means. I thought I was graduating from school early, so that I could attend New Staff Training (NST) this year in January. Clearly, God did not want that.

Right now, I'm beginning the process of raising the $3,330 for New Staff Training. The Summer 2012 training is from June 15 to July 15, however it's possible that life circumstances could dictate going to Winter 2013. I whole-heartedly believe that God will make that clear within the next couple of months. Please be praying for guidance and clarity in that area. Also, if anyone would like to hear more about Keynote and what I hope to be doing there, and how you could be involved in getting me there, let me know so I can send you a letter. :)

I'm super excited about this process, even if it a little daunting. I hope that you guys are excited too, and will join me on my journey!

Until next time!

--Hannah

Christmas With Corey

Hey Internet World. I apologize for my hiatus. It's been pointed out to be by several people.

I want to give you a brief overview of my trip to Kansas, since to go into all the details would take forever. So here are the highlights.

I arrived on Christmas Day! We spent a few days in Lenexa with Corey's family before heading to Manhattan to visit some of his friends. There I got to experience the true beauty of...

A Maple-Bacon Donut. :)

Oh yes, they do exisit. And they are delicious. Note the amount of bacon on that bad boy. I do not want to think about how many calories were in those things. Man, were they good, though.

After we spent some time with Corey's friends (unfortunately we didn't take any pictures of them. We're kind of bad at that...) we went to see the Manhattan sign. It's kind of like the Hollywood sign...only Manhattan. We took some fun woodsy pictures.

I didn't want to venture down the hill in my boots. But that is the MA in Manhattan.

Corey and I. :)

On New Year's Eve, Corey and I got to have a Triple Date Game Night with some of our favorite people. :)

Left to Right: Corey Tindall, Me, Kory Myrick, Natasha Jackson, Tim Esau, and Erica Smith.

It brought so much warmth to my heart to see them. I hadn't seen Natasha and Kory in 6 months, and Tim in a year. And I had never met his girlfriend, Erica. We played Balderdash until midnight. It was such a blessing to ring in the New Year with my brothers and sisters in Christ. Just looking at this picture makes me want to cry a little bit. It was such a wonderful time. Only God knows when I'll see them again, but I trust that it will be sooner than any of us think. :)

Corey and I celebrated our 1 Year Anniversary while I was in Kansas. That man is such a blessing. He planned a super fun day for us--all of which was a surprise. First we went ice skating at this gorgeous downtown area of Kansas City.

I didn't fall a single time! Corey did...but I didn't get to witness it. ;)

Afterwards we went to the mall and walked around. We saw some huge REAL gingerbread houses and some silly Wizard of Oz toys--both of which I found picture worthy. :)

That night we got all dressed up and Corey took me to a dinner theatre!They were showing this comedy called "Game Show" which was SUPER funny and starred the lead Brittish guy from that old TV show "The Nanny". It was a little bit awesome.

When we got there this was a big card on our table from the theatre. :)

It was signed by the cast! :)

The show was fantastic. Hilarious and audience interactive. Although, I was very glad that they didn't interact with us. For all the performing I've done, I do not like to be picked on in an audience setting.

Corey and I took a two mile walk one day, because even though it was January it was a glorious 65 degrees outside. :)

It was so beautiful. :)

The Friday before I left we went back over to Natasha's apartment for dinner with her and Kory. My heart was so happy that I got to see her twice in 2 weeks. :) She made this amazing tortellini soup with spinach and meatballs. Oooh, I want to make that for dinner tonight...

Corey and I made some brownies for dessert. Natasha liked them. :)

Sooner rather than later it was time for me to go back to California. I was on the 5:40 flight from Kansas City to Houston out of Continental. Corey and I packed up the car and drove the 30 minutes out to the airport. We got there an hour early, plenty of time for my flight.

I went to check-in, but according to the machine...it was too late to check-in. What?

The rather irritated airport lady informed me that I was on the 5:10 to Denver on United Airlines. What??

Then she informed me that I needed to go to a different terminal to see if I could check in, because she couldn't help me. She figured it was a lost cause, because I was less than 30 minutes away from that flight leaving. WHAT???

Corey and I booked it to the United Terminal. I was hysterical. I was just sure that I would have to buy a completely different ticket with $800 I didn't have. Corey assured me that it was going to be OK.

We got to the United Terminal, and sure enough it was too late for me to board the plane. The told me they would have to rebook me. I was horrified, but there was nothing I could do at that point. I would have to pay.

The woman informed me that she could put me on a flight the next day at 4:17PM to San Francisco, then on the 6:22 to LA, then on the 10:45 to Bakersfield. I would be getting home until midnight. 

"That's what we can do. It'll be $75," she said.

I was stunned. "Only $75?"

"Yes."

Needless to say, I took it. I was rather traumatic. Let me tell you right now, all those songs and movies that make missing flights sound so romantic, they're lying. I was a mess. But in the end it was nice to spend one more day with Corey. I was so grateful that he was with me throughout that entire ordeal. God has really blessed me with him. :)

This is us right after all the trauma was over. Haha! :)

Ultimately, the trip was a wonderful success. I miss Corey and the rest of the Tindalls a lot. Right now, we don't know when we're going to see each other again, which is kind of scary. But we're trusting that God will provide the money and the time to make it sooner than we think. :)

Thanks for hanging in there with me, friends! Until next time.

--Hannah

Snips, Snails and Puppy Dog Tails

"Snips and snails and puppy-dog tails;
That's what little boys are made of." --Mother Goose

The following story is about a little 3 year old boy (we'll call him Matt). Now Matt is magazine caliber adorable. He's blond with bright blue eyes, and is constantly smiling. He has one of the brightest faces I have ever seen. His mom dresses him in a kind of "3-year-old-skater" look. He is so cute. Even though he's not one of my students, I know him relatively well. I've gotten to know the 3-year olds pretty well, since we all play together at recess time.

Matt is rarely in trouble. He's a good listener and very nice. I don't think I've ever seen him on the giving end of a troublesome act. He's just an all around good kid. I'm a huge fan of Matt.

So on Friday I happened to be working with the 2 year olds for about an hour. One of the teacher's was out on vacation, so they needed someone to fill in for a short amount of time. On Fridays we take the kids to gymnastics, which involves two teachers--one in the front of the line and one in the back--because we have to climb a staircase that curves around a corner. It's important to make sure all the kids can be monitored at any given time, in case they fall.

It was my job to gather of the 2 and 3 year olds that were enrolled to go to gymnastics. (Not an easy task. Haha.) We were already about 15 minutes late, due to some other factors, so tensions were running high. I was getting them together, when Matt walked up to the group. I was just about to call over to him, "Matt, get in line! We're going to gymnastics!" when I saw him. His hands, arms, and shins were covered with packed wet sand and dirt.

"Matt! What happened to you?" I cried out.

He looked at me, thrust his arms and hands in front of him and answered, "I'll wash my hands!" and hurried over to the drinking fountain.

Choking back exasperation and laughter (a rather odd combination, but ask anyone with kids or who works with kids and they will tell you they've experienced it) I said, "No, Matt, come here. We need to go to the bathroom."

I ushered him into the bathroom, followed by the 10 or so other children that were supposed to go to gymnastics. I shooed them out of the bathroom to wait with the gymnastics teacher and her assistant, while Matt rinsed wave after wave of dirt off of his hands and arms.

"Matt, what happened to you?" I asked again, while I wetted three sheets of paper towels in an attempt to deal with his muddy shins.

"I played in the dirt!" he answered, grinning from ear to ear.

Again, laughing to myself and lamenting the mess, I worked on wiping the mud off his shins. The paper towels at work are a joke. I think I was only succeeding in moving the mud around.

Just then the gymnastics assistant looked into the bathroom and laughed. "If I were you, " she said, "I'd just take off his shoes and socks and put him in the sink."

I paused for about two seconds, as Matt continued to rinse his hands. "You know, that's not a bad idea."

I started to undo Matt's converse and socks (which were equally caked with mud).

"What are you doing?" asked Matt.

"Putting you in the sink. Here, I'm going to pick you up, just hold on to me."

I picked him up and stuck his feet in the sink. With one arm secured tightly around his waist, I scrubbed the mud and dirt off one leg and then the other with my other hand. Matt was positively beaming.

Since we can't have the kids walking around with bare feet, I had to carry him up the stairs to gymnastics, and back down again when we were done. I laughed the entire way. Matt was ecstatic.

The best part? They couldn't get his shoes and socks clean for him to wear the rest of the day. So he had to wear the girl's faux leather costume boots from the dress-up box. When his dad came to pick him up, he didn't want to take them off...so he went home like that--all the while smiling his heart out.

I love my job. I love little boys, and I love that God created them to love making messes.

It sounds funny, but it was the moment that I hoisted Matt into the sink that made me 100% sure that one day I want to have sons just as much as I want to have daughters. They are so much fun. I found it extremely encouraging. :)
I hope this story brought as much joy to you as it brought to me...and to Matt. :)

Until next time!

Hannah

Walking on Water

I was sent home sick from work today. I think I'm getting a cold. I'm hoping to head it off at the pass, rather than be miserable for a week. However, I couldn't fall asleep, so I decided to have a quiet time instead. I was extremely encouraged by a very familiar passage. I hope you are too. :)

"Immediately he made the disciples get into the boat and go before him to the other side, while he dismissed the crowds. ²³And after he had dismissed the crowds, he went up on the mountain by himself to pray. When evening came, he was there alone, ²⁴but the boat by this time was a long way from the land, beaten by the waves, for the wind was against them. ²⁵And in the fourth watch of the night he came to them, walking on the sea. ²⁶But when the disciples saw him walking on the sea, they were terrified, and said, "It is a ghost!" and they cried out in fear. ²⁷But immediately Jesus spoke to them, saying, "Take heart; it is I. Do not be afraid." And Peter answered him, "Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water." ²⁹He said, "Come." So Peter got out of the boat and walked on the water and came to Jesus. ³⁰But when he saw the wind, he was afraid, and beginning to sink he cried out, "Lord, save me." ³¹Jesus immediately reached out his hand and took hold of him, saying to him,  "O you of little faith, why did you doubt?" ³²And when they got into the boat, the wind ceased. ³³And those in the boat worshiped him, saying, "Truly you are the Son of God." Matthew 14: 22-33

I don't know how many times I've heard this story. Truth be told, it's one of my favorites. I've heard a lot of sermons and talks on it too--it seems to be a favorite of many. Glad to know I'm in good company. But today I read it again, and I noticed some things that I hope will bring comfort to you. I may be stealing a little from sermons I've heard in the past, but when something clicks, I just feel compelled to share.

Whenever I've heard this story, it's usually in reference to a hardship going on in someone's life. People always say, "Trust the Lord. Jesus will calm the storm. Just look at Matthew 14."

That's true. Jesus is powerful to calm the storm. I think about that often. But upon reading this today, I was struck with something incredible that I'm not sure I noticed before: Why didn't Jesus calm the storm before asking Peter to walk on the water?

I know what you're thinking--because Jesus wanted to test his faith. True. But wouldn't it have been testing his faith enough to ask Peter to walk on water at all, let alone during a storm? I don't know about you guys, but I have never been able to walk on the water in my swimming pool, and it's definitely glassy calm out there. (And I've tried, trust me. Haha!) If Jesus asked me to walk on it right now, I would hope that I would trust Him to do it...but it would be a step of faith at all, just to avoid looking foolish.

It's incredible to me that Jesus chose to calm the storm after He asked Peter to walk on the water, and saved Him from drowning.

I think about the storms in my life. So often we want God to remove those storms. But He wants us to walk through them. I'm not implying that He is not faithful to calm the storm, but rather that He is also faithful to sustain us through the storm...even when we falter like Peter does here.

I love Peter. He's my favorite disciple. He's so genuine. He wants so badly to follow Jesus, and has such incredible intentions. He always chases after Him with 110%, and always falls on his face. And yet, Jesus still loves Him.


I find that so encouraging. How many times do I strive after Jesus and fall flat on my face? Too many to count, friends. And yet, Jesus still loves me, and is not only willing to calm the storm, but also will sustain me in it. He asks me to trust Him in the storm, not simply to trust Him to make it disappear. In that way, the storm seems like a huge blessing to me.


I love those stories. I love seeing God's goodness and faithfulness to sustain me through the storm and to redeem me when I fail. It makes me want to walk on water that much more.


It's nice, because right now I feel like I'm in a rut. I'm in what I've been calling a "waiting period", and sometimes it really feels like a storm. Some days I am content, and others I cannot imagine being in this time for another second. It's been a step of faith to ask God to help sustain me daily.

I am so encouraged that Jesus asks us to trust Him in the midst of the storm, rather than to trust Him just to get rid of the storm. Because if He asks us to trust Him, it's because He is faithful to bring us through. And that is incredible to me.

Until next time! :)

En Route to Westfield, IN

The title of this blog would suggest that I am "en route" to Westfield, Indiana. How I wish that was true! :) However, it's not. But I just dropped my Keynote Staff Application off at the Post Office. Tomorrow it will be "en route".

It's been a long process. The application and DVD audition weighed a grand total of 1 pound and 6.7 ounces. As I was pulling into the Post Office I thought to myself, "I can't believe this process is over."

Then I laughed to myself and thought, "Oh, Hannah. It's far from over. This is just the beginning."

It's true. Turning in the application is the first step in a long list of steps. I am planning, if accepted, on going to the Summer Training. There was a lot of thought and prayer that went into that decision. God providing a job that conveniently lasts until June, and the ability to work there part-time later if I needed to, was a major contributing factor. I just wanted to get my application done and sent.

Basically that means that there is still a lot of waiting and a lot of trusting that will need to continue. Please continue to pray for that and that God would make all things clear in His timing and prepare my heart for His plans.

Thank you, everyone. And thank you for all the love and support during this time. :)

Until next time!

--Hannah

Ways a Four Year Can Make You Smile

Hello all! I blog, because I realize it's been a ridiculous amount of time since I last blogged. To tell you the truth, I've been a little busy, because 5 weeks ago I started working at the Oaks Children's Center! Thank you to those of you that prayed for me in regards to this particular job. God truly did answer.

I'm a Teacher's Aide for the Pre-Kindergarten classes. It's really incredible how I even got the job. As you all know, I had to take a summer school class to complete my last 4 units for UCI. It was for my Social and Behaviorial Sciences Gen Ed requirement. I decided to take Child Development, because I love kids and I thought it would be more interesting than some of the other options.

Because I took Child Development, I had to do 6 observations at a local Children's Center. I thought it would be easiest to choose The Oaks, because I'm familiar with the layout and the some of the staff, since I go to church there and used to be a janitor there. (Haha, funny who things turn out.)

As I was doing the observations, the director (Lori) of the pre-school suggested I fill out an application to be an Aide, because I had enough units. Of course, I said yes. (Did I mention how much I love kids?)

However, when I turned in the application, Lori seemed less than hopeful. Enrollment was down, and she wasn't sure they could hire me. I was super discouraged, but continued calling to make sure. About a week later, Lori called me back and told me that they did need some one to work the closing shift from 1:00 to 6:00 every day. Their numbers had increased. I said I'd take it, since part time was SO much better than nothing. She told me if their numbers continued to increase, she might need to move me to full-time, but she couldn't promise anything.

A week after I started, she had to move me to full-time. Their numbers have sky-rocketed. We currently have over 100 students, and more coming. Isn't God amazing? I love my job, and I love the kids. Here are some conversations that just might prove why. (The names have been ommitted).

Her: "Miss Hannah!"
Me: "Yes?"
Her: "If you hold this feather for a really long time, you'll turn into a bird."
Me: "Really? So when I see you on Monday, you'll be a bird?"
Her: "Yes."

Her: "I like Jesus, but not God."
Me: "...Why?"
Her: "Because Jesus has the same eyes as me."

Her: "Uh-oh! My pocket ripped."
Me: "Oops! We'll have to get your mommy to fix it."
Her: "...With duct tape?"

Her: *playing with my hair* "We're getting you ready for your date."
Me: "My date? Who am I going on a date with?"
Her: "Justin Bieber."

Me: *singing* "Jesus feeds His little lamb on the B-I-B-L-E."
Her: "That means you read the Bible."
Me: "That's right! What is the Bible?"
Her: "You read it."
Me: "Yes, but what is it?"
Her: "Umm...Jesus is in it."

Him: *giving her some flowers*
Me: "Why did you give her flowers?"
Him: "Because I love her."

Do I have the best job or what? :) Oh sure, there are the difficult kids, but I find them to be the most rewarding. My hope is that God will give me the energy and patience to be able to love on them in a way that assures them that He loves them even when their lives are hard or they make mistakes.

In other news, I am just an audition video away from being done with my Keynote application. Wow! It's been a long journey, and I trust it's not over. It's hard to see what's going to happen next, though i certainly have wasted some energy trying to figure it out by myself. I was encouraged the other day by a verse that said:

""In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps." Proverbs 16:9

That verse is my life in a nutshell. :) Please pray that the Lord would give me peace to wait for His perfect timing and to continue to seek Him, even when I am exhausted.

Thanks for reading everyone! Hopefully there will be more blogs posts soon! :)