It Feels Like It's Rainin' You...

I was awakened this morning by the biggest thunder clap I've ever heard. As I peered through my sleep covered eyes into my dimly lit room, I felt like I was in Indiana. I haven't experienced rain like today since then.

Most of you know that I love rain. What you may not know is that, truthfully, I adore rain. Rain says so much more to me than "water falling from the sky" or "Dang, my hair will be ruined on the way to class". When it rains, the air is cleaned and smells beautiful. All the grime of the previous weeks and months is washed away in one fail swoop.

It might sound cheesy, but I view rain washing away that grime like I view Jesus washing away our sins. It just seems like the perfect metaphor to me.

When it rains I feel like it's a gift from God, just to bring joy to my heart. I've heard of people being romanced by the King and that's what rain is for me. Almost as if God is saying, "Hannah, I love you so much!" A simple thing, rain, but it means the world to me. 

I'm sitting on the floor in my living room, wrapped in a fleece blanket with the sliding glass door opened so I can hear and see the beauty God causes to fall from the sky. A few minutes ago, a giant lightning bolt flashed across it. It was absolutely breathtaking. I honestly, wish a picture could do it justice.

I wanted to share a song with you all that I listen to when it rains. It's by Brad Paisley and I know it's not a Christian song, but when I hear it, it sounds like worship to me. It encompasses exactly how rain makes me feel. I'm going to leave the lyrics here, so you can see them. :)

- - - -

When I looked out today,

Saw that the sky was gray,

I thought about the way You love days like this.

Driving into town,

It really started coming down,

Bringing me back around to all that I've missed.

- - -

It feels like it's rainin' You.

It feels like it's rainin' You.

- - -

I didn't even run inside,

Or worry about staying dry,

Besides there's nowhere I can hide from these feelings now.

Runnin' my face,

Takes me to another place,

I can't think of a better way to drown.

- - -

It feels like it's rainin' You.

I can't explain, but I am baptized anew.

It feels like it's rainin' You.

- - -

If I had my way it would do this everyday,

I would never see the sun.

Because the closest I get to holding You again,

Is everytime that sky opens up.

- - -

It feels like it's rainin' You.

I can't explain, but I am baptized anew.

It feels like it's rainin' You.

It feels like it's rainin' You...

--"Rainin' You" Brad Paisley

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xxACycsuNoQ

 

Lost For Words

Last Thursday I was sitting in Starbucks on campus, and I'd spent the last hour agonizing over what should be one of the easiest writing assignments ever made in the university system.

The assignment was to take a piece of music and technically describe it. Not even really draw conclusions from it, JUST describe it. It was supposed to between 600 and 1800 words long.

Mine? Topped off at a grand total of 626 words.And I kid you not, it was the most grueling and boring 626 words I have ever written in my entire life.

How pathetic is that, right? I can sit here and culminate a blog entry that goes on for thousands of words, or type out a text message that is at least 3 pages long, and when asked to describe a piece by Robert Schumann I falter.

Ridiculous.

And all this nonsense got me to thinking that I am so thankful that God doesnt require us to be eloquent or wordy when we pray. I feel like we try so hard sometimes to impress who, exactly? God or the people we're praying for? Either way, for me, the result is rather abysmal.

The other night I was talking with my roommate and we decided to pray together. I prayed for her, and I stumbled over every single word, thought and "Father, just..." in the entire prayer. I kind of laughed afterwards as she began to chatter off an eloquently pieced together prayer. Why does that bother me? Because I'm afraid that people will think I sound stupid when I pray outloud.

I've certainly come a long way since my high school Bible Study days. I remember refusing to pray outloud, because I was so afraid that I wouldn't have the "right words" to say, but it still lingers.

Being a Bible Study leader has brought a certain amount of nervousness in this area, because I feel like there is a certain standard I have to uphold. After all, people are looking at me more closely now. I'm a "leader". It puts a lot of pressure on the situation, truthfully.

Now, I wholeheartedly agree that leaders should be held to high standard. That we shouldn't go out and get drunk with our friends, just because we're 21. Or that we should be swearing up a storm or something like that. But eloquently praying? Thank goodness, God didn't ask me to have a beautiful poetic prayer, because let me tell you: I fail nearly everytime.

I fail even worse when I'm trying. Isn't that funny? How when we try so hard at something we almost indefinitely fail? Ugh. What an uphill battle.

Last night at church the pastor was saying that the Bible says that Jesus made him self "nothing", but becoming human. This would indicate that humanity is nothingness when compared to the glory of God. The pastor went on to say that when we strive for academic standing, a relationship, popularity, lots of money, or whatever we deem as success--we are essentially trying to acheive the highest amount of...nothingness.

So I say again, why do we stress about trivial things, like what ours prayers SOUND like to others? Shouldn't we be a little more focused on the One we're talking to and not the ones listening?

Just some thoughts...

This weekend is our Fall Retreat! This means there are 24 days until I head out to Indiana! (SO EXCITED!) And it also means that this weekend starts the epic 6 weekends in a row insanity I mentioned in my last blog. Please pray for my sleep, balancing my school work, and above all that I would not try to pull all of this off in my own strength. We all know how that will turn out. :P

Thanks everyone! Tune in next time!

Also, this blog post is a total of 656 words. In case you were wondering. ;)

Weddings, Weddings, Weddings!

Hey Internet World! It's been a while. I've been ridiculously busy. Honestly, it's been kind of stressful, but it's definitely been awesome.

Besides the normal schedule of school and Cru, the biggest thing going on in my life right now is weddings. My best friend, Bean, and my friend and discipler from Keynote, Lindsay. It's definitely exciting!

This past weekend I got to go home and be involved in two Bridal Showers for Bean. One I threw and one her sister threw. They were way fun. We dressed her up in a toiler paper wedding dress (which didn't come out half bad, actually.) Then we got to tell the story about how Shem came to surprise her in Calfornia.

The shower that her sister Michelle threw was so fun. There were loads of cheesy bridal shower games that I am terrible at. It also gave all of the bridesmaid an opportunity to hang out. There are six of us: Bean's little sisters Michelle and Andrea, her honorary little sisters Mallory and Lydia, and two of her best friends, Beth and me. It's going to be a fun wedding. :)

The wedding is in 30 days. Wow! 

The second wedding that's going on is Lindsay's! Exciting news update: After much prayer and planning I am going to be able to attend Lindsay's wedding in Indiana! 

However, it's not just a wedding. I'm flying out and everyone from Stop On Green will be there. Words cannot actually describe how excited I am! There are 36 days left until I make the flight out to Kansas City, Missouri. I'll be staying the night with Natasha and the following morning, Corey and Tim are going to pick us up and we'll make the 8-hour drive to Indianapolis. From there we'll hang out and the wedding is 2 days later. 

It feels like a dream, honestly. Corey and Natasha both called me last Thursday to tell me that it had officially worked out. I think I said, "I'm so freakin' excited!" about 50 times. Haha! I had no idea that I was going to be able to see my team so soon, much less getting to see all the Keynote staff that I love so much. I'm so stoked that God orchestrated it to work out the way that He did. :)

If you did the math with those numbers, you may have noticed these weddings are really close together. In fact, they are 10 days apart. But not just that, in about 3 weeks I have something going on every single weekend for 6 weeks.

October 22-24: Fall Retreat with Cru (Mountains)

October 29-31: SDWC Worship Band Auditions (Fresno)

November 5-7: Bean's Wedding Weekend (LA and Bakersfield)

November 11-15: Lindsay's Wedding "Weekend"/Reunion (Indianapolis)

November 19-21: Crossroads Conference with Cru (Anaheim)

November 25-28: Thanksgiving Break

Yeah, I'm a little overwhelmed. Everything is awesome and very exciting, but I'm definitely a little nervous about how I'm going to stay on top of my studies. I'm a pretty high-stress person, so I know how hard it is for me to fight the desire to worry constantly about things I can't really control. I'd really appreciate prayers during the coming weeks in this area.

On another note, Sam and I have officially stared out Bibly Study. Last night was the first night that I actually helped her lead with our study. Honestly, it was so nerve-wracking. I thank God that He doesn't call us to be perfect, because I'd definitely be failing. ;) 

I'm so thankful to have Sam as my co-leader. She has a very calming presence, and I felt so encouraged everytime she chimed in last night. 

I also found at last week that I'm going to be discipled by my friend, Arggi. She's a senior who is interning with Campus Crusade for Christ this year. She's going to be discipling me and my friend, Michelle. I'm looking forward to the opportunity to grow with them and also grow in my relationship with both of them. They're awesome women. 

Just wanted to give you all a litte insight into my schedule. Thanks so much for your prayers and for reading! :)

Until next time!

--Hannah

Back In The Game

Hey friends! I've been back in Irvine for 3 days now and today was the first day of official classes. However, Campus Crusade for Christ has been busy prepping for the upcoming year and meeting people. It's been nice to see everyone so excited for the new year. I know it definitely helps me get excited.

I unfortunately couldn't make it to the Club Fair on Monday where we did a lot of interacting with new Freshmen. We passed out "Freshman Survival Kits" to any student that would take a minute to fill out a Spiritual Interest Questionnaire. These FSKs, as we've been calling them, had a Bible and the Donald Miller book, "Blue Like Jazz" in them. Apparently they were a hit, because we passed out over 1,600 SIQs. We'd be praying for 1,400, so it was super exciting to see God in that. :)

On Tuesday and Wednesday we had an SIQ callback party, which means that we took all the cards of people that said they were interested in knowing more about Cru and called them.

I'm not going to lie to you, people; I was petrified. I've never been a huge fan of calling people I don't know, so throw talking about spiritual things into the mix, and I was practically immobilized. I texted one of my friends from my band, Corey, and told him "You would THINK that talking in front of prisoners for 3 weeks would make a phone call easy, but NO!"

It was crazy, because I kept hearing all of my friends leaving voice mails over and over, while I kept having every single student pick-up. I thought, "Really, God? Are you trying to teach me something?" Of course. And ultimately, as scary as it was, it was really rewarding. I even made an appointment to meet with a Freshman commuter for lunch on Tuesday, so she'll know some more people. Her name is Annie, so you guys can be thinking and praying about that. :)

My friend Sam (I'm co-leading a Bible Study with her this year) has this sweet wall at her apartment that people can write on. Everyone who comes over writes on it. Someone had written these on the wall. I took these pictures because I thought "Stop On Green" would appreciate them. :)

Nacho: "I'm not listening to you! You only believe in Science. That's probably why we never win!

Esquelito: We never win, because you are fat!

"Get that corn outa my face!"--Nacho Libre

I laughed so hard. :)

Last night we had Interfellowship, a worship night where all the Christian clubs on campus get together so all the incoming students can check them out in one place. It was super fun having so many students all in one place talking and worshipping. Definitely cool.

Today was my first day of class. I had an upper-division writing course called "Writing About Music" and a music cultural course called "Beatles and the 60s". I'm going to be completely honest and say that I'm not sure I'm going to enjoy either of them. The writing class is all about how to write weird stuff in the music field, like newspaper releases and program notes. It's kind of dull, but it beats writing some sort of research paper.

It hit me today as I was sitting in class that coming back to school has been kind of strange. Not just because I've been outside of the educational system for like 15 weeks, but because I feel so different. My view on school is drastically different. I think it comes down to labels.

When we think about the people in our lives, it's really easy to put a label on them. In fact, everyone puts a label on themselves. People can definitely themselves in all sorts of ways, and do. Woman. Man. Singer. Dancer. Student. Career Driven. Mom. Daughter. Single. Married. It's the thing that you esteem as being the most important thing about you.

And I got to thinking today, while I was trying not to fall asleep in lecture, how cool it is that we get the option of defining ourselves in terms that are eternal. That we get to allow Jesus to be our label, if we want Him to be. It's given me a completely different outlook on school. Classes seem dull, but it's the life that occurs in between the lectures that I'm excited about. :) I was excited about it last year too, but this year feels so much better.Summer Project was really life-changing. 

Everyone I've talked keeps saying the same thing, "It's going to be a really good year. I can feel it. Something big is going to happen." 

I would have to agree. :) 

Thanks for reading everyone! Tonight is our first Cru meeting and tomorrow we're having a fun bonfire at the beach to continuing connecting with new students. I'll keep y'all posted! 

--Hannah

At Keynote, We're All About Life Change...

Hey y'all! Wow, it's been so long since I wrote. I started this blog to keep my friends and supporters updated during Summer Project, but I kind of failed at doing that. I was so busy that I rarely got a chance to write. Insane, right?

I'd like to do a bit of a wrap-up of Keynote, because I would love to share with you all that God did this summer, in my heart and in the hearts of others.

I remember sitting in Ball Room A at the San Diego Winter Conference and listening to James White ask the audience, "What has God given you for the glory of His kingdom that you need to give back?" As it hit me that I was absolutely 100% supposed to go on Keynote Summer Project, I remember feeling like I was finally right where God wanted me to be. 

A few months later I was elbow deep in support raising. I was discouraged, but knew two things for sure: One, that no matter what the price I was going exactly where God wanted me to be. Two, that this summer was going to answer a lot of questions about my life.

On June 7th, I was driving around Indiana with my aunt, uncle and cousins. The incredible green landscape rolled by our car windows and the most gorgeous white clouds floated lazily in the sky, as we drove home from church. I was overwhelmed with the strangest and most comforting realization: I was home.

Weird, right? Little did I know that that feeling would only intensify as I dove head-first into the most incredible summer of my life.

Going into Summer Project, I expected God to show up in miraculous ways. Did He ever! I learned not only practical things like how to communicate from stage and share my story, but God also penetrated into the deepest parts of my heart. I learned how to communicate my heart to others, and allow others to see me for who I truly am. 

On tour, I got to talk to people with some of the most incredible stories of God's redeeming love. Literal prisoners who had been saved by Grace. How insane is it that these men and women have lost it all, but as they hit the lowest of low God found them and picked them back up?

As a result of STOP ON GREEN's concerts, 87 people made the decision to follow Jesus. I feel so blessed that God allowed me to be even a small part of seeing that happen. Real life change. 

Let me tell you a story about a woman in the Indianapolis Women's Prison. We'll call her Betty. Betty had been in prison for 21 years, and was actually getting out soon. If that wasn't amazing enough, she had previously been on death row for attempted murder. She heard about Jesus in prison, and it completely changed her life, 100%. She's so changed, that she's off death-row and getting out of prison. :)

I will never forget the people we met in prisons, but even more than that I will never forget the people on my team. I know I made not just good friends, but life-long friends this summer. We're still talking and it warms my heart to have them as such a huge part of my life and my growth. :) I miss them more than I can actually put into words. I'm hoping to see them again soon! 

Me with my Shawna, Natasha and Lindsay. :)

Trevor and Corey: The Plain White Tees ;)

Chelsie and her love of beards always made me giggle. :)

The redheads! Me and Tim, our awesome sound guy!

Swerve, our wonderful "sister" band! Allie, Gray, Mike, Nate, Tess, Lauren, and Sam.

Dan, our awesome and hilarious music director. No, that's not real poop...

Ethan on electric guitar, and Corey behind him on bass. This guy was an excellent Team Director with Lindsay. :)

Mel, our tour manager and his son Andrew. Andrew was our band mascot. :)

Corey, me and Natasha before our last concert. This is my favorite picture of the whole summer. :)

"Stop On Green" in Virginia. I love this band!

It was really hard to come back to California after having this wonderful summer. A couple weeks ago, I was feeling frustrated with having to go back to school. Two more years of college sounds like an eternity when you want so badly to be somewhere else, much less a place where you felt so purposeful. Not that I don't absolutely love my family and friends here and in Irvine, but I also feel like I finally know what I'm supposed to do. I was encouraged by a verse in James that said:

"Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." James 1:4

With this verse in mind, I'd love to continue this blog into the next couple years of school. I know God has a lot to teach me in these next two years. I'd love to share this journey with my family and friends, so if you're up for it, please continue with me. 

Thanks again all of you for reading, loving and supporting me this summer. It was incredible and I know I couldn't have gone without you. 

Bring it on, Junior year. I'm ready. :)

--Hannah

Story Retreat

Hey supporters and friends!

Wow, the last couple days have been an absolute whirl-wind. We've been doing so much work and I've been exhausted, but it's been incredible.

On Friday afternoon I found out that my band directors had chosen me to give my testimony from the stage. Just a thumbnail sketch about what this means: Our bands are using secular music, but then one or two band members are asked to share their testimony and the gospel from the stage during the course of the concert. It's really incredible how it fits in with the music that we're doing.

So on Friday I was asked to attend to share my story and attend the Story Retreat. To be honest with you, I was shocked. I didn't think anybody would want to hear what I had to say, because I had heard the testimonies of the other girls in my band, and I thought they were really powerful. I was completely blown away at the idea that God wanted to use me in this way.

On Saturday we went back up to Camp Otto for a 24 hour "Story Retreat". Everyone that attended spent 24 hours figuring out how to write their testimonies in a style that could be presented from stage. I was pretty stoked about it at first, but as the weekend progressed I started to feel really discouraged. I couldn't figure how to write out my story in a way that really conveyed the emotional turmoil I was going through last year. I left the retreat with very little written and heavy heart.

However, on Tuesday morning I got the chance to talk to one of my Comm coaches, Dana Russo, about my story. She opened up my eyes to an angle that I never seen before. It was incredible, and my story began to take form. I was so amazed at how God still wanted to use me even in my complete weakness. :)

In other news, last Friday we had our first coffee house. What this means is one of the Keynote staff bands, Blue Sky Nine, did their concert for us and then they opened it for open mic. The concert was INCREDIBLE. They actually played a few of the song that Stop on Green is doing. I was super excited to hear them. Here's some pictures of the concert.

Then they opened it for us to perform. A couple of the kids from Impact did raps and sang songs. It was SO awesome. And then two of the girls from Stop on Green last year, who were in town visiting, did "Sign, Sealed, Delivered" with my Uncle. It was hilariously awesome. :) Here's a picture.

This week our coffee house is featuring David Pendleton. He's a ventriloquist on staff with Keynote. I've seen his DVD and he's HILARIOUS. I'll make sure to take pictures of him and his crazy puppets. :)

We got to go this frozen yogurt place last night, which was SUPER exciting for us three Californians. :) We miss frozen yogurt. This place wasn't nearly as good as Yogurtland, but it satisfied a craving. Here's a picture of all of us there and a picture of Brian and his epic yogurt. He's a frozen yogurt professional. 

This is Allie, Lindsay, Tess, Chelsie, Lauren and me eating our yogurt.

Let's see...anything else you all should know? Our rehearsals have been going great. We've gone through almost all of songs, and our band is really gelling well. I love it. I can't wait to get some sort of video up here, but right now the Internet can't really handle it.

Until next time, friends!

This Update Is Long Overdue

Hey everyone! I know it's been a while since I've talked to you guys. Honestly, we've all been so busy there has barely been time to breathe. However, God has really been moving in the last week that I've been here, I'm so excited to let you guys know some of the highlights of the last few days.

Some of the cool things we've gotten the opportunity to do are a Day of Faith outreach, band Bible study, band hang-out time, classes, rehearsals, and the men and women's retreats. All of them have been an incredible time of learning and growing in our relationships with one another. Everyone here feels like even though we've only been here for a few days we've already made life-long friendships. It's incredible what united passions and a love of God can do for the outcome of relationships. :)

Last weekend all the girls went up to this camp called "Camp Otto" for a women's retreat. The camp was muggy and buggy (Ha!) but really beautiful. Here's a picture of the lake. I thought it was absolutely breathtaking.

The retreat was really great for me, because it allowed me some time to really get my mind focused on God. Arriving here and seeing everyone for the first time was so much fun, but it was also a little overwhelming. On the women's retreat we really focused on who we are as followers of Jesus. God spoke a lot of encouraging truths into my heart and used my friends to show me His unfailing love. It was refreshing to my heart. We also got to dress up on our last evening there and participate in a fun event. Here's a picture of us girls all dressed up. 

From left to right: Jessica, Natasha, Lauren, Danielle, Lindsay, Me.

Also last week we got to start to rehearsals. They have been AWESOME. We are having such a blast playing together, and I feel like the band is really meshing musically. We found out the songs we get to lead today. I'm leading "Consider Me Gone", "Blue Sky", "Rain", "Way I Feel" and "Many The Miles". I'm SUPER excited about all of them :) I wanted to post a video, but it's really not working yet. 

On Tuesday this past week we got to go to Vision night at the Bongards' house. Basically, it was an opportunity for the staff to tell us more about Keynote's mission statement. It was awesome to hear more about what they do as a ministry. Keynote isn't just focused on music, but also media and the arts. We got to watch some student made videos from some previous projects, and they were INSANELY awesome. 

There were also awesome snacks. I know that doesn't sound like much of anything, but it was so funny, BECAUSE I had really been stressed out that day. When I walked in there was a CHOCOLATE FOUNTAIN. Delicious. Here's a picture of what the boys did with the chocolate fountain. 

This is Mike, Trevor, and Gray all with their chocolate mustaches. Nice...

Anyway, that's just a bit of an update about what we've been doing. On Monday we had band hang-out time. We went to Paradise Bakery for dinner (I bought extra cookies. SO GOOD) and then we went over to Mel's house to watch the old-school Batman movie. "Holy Stop On Green Bonding Time, Batman!" Seriously, that movie was hilarious. We've already been saying "Holy such and such, Batman!" the whole week. Tour is going to be awesome.

Oh! Speaking of tour, Stop On Green will be spending most of its tour in Indiana, with a few concerts in Ohio, Michigan, and I think Virginia. I'm really excited, because our band is going to be playing at a lot of prisons and detention facilities. I know that sounds weird, but I'm really stoked.

There's an update for you all. Thanks for all your prayers and support. They've been such a blessing to me. Until next time!

Hannah