Snips, Snails and Puppy Dog Tails

"Snips and snails and puppy-dog tails;
That's what little boys are made of." --Mother Goose

The following story is about a little 3 year old boy (we'll call him Matt). Now Matt is magazine caliber adorable. He's blond with bright blue eyes, and is constantly smiling. He has one of the brightest faces I have ever seen. His mom dresses him in a kind of "3-year-old-skater" look. He is so cute. Even though he's not one of my students, I know him relatively well. I've gotten to know the 3-year olds pretty well, since we all play together at recess time.

Matt is rarely in trouble. He's a good listener and very nice. I don't think I've ever seen him on the giving end of a troublesome act. He's just an all around good kid. I'm a huge fan of Matt.

So on Friday I happened to be working with the 2 year olds for about an hour. One of the teacher's was out on vacation, so they needed someone to fill in for a short amount of time. On Fridays we take the kids to gymnastics, which involves two teachers--one in the front of the line and one in the back--because we have to climb a staircase that curves around a corner. It's important to make sure all the kids can be monitored at any given time, in case they fall.

It was my job to gather of the 2 and 3 year olds that were enrolled to go to gymnastics. (Not an easy task. Haha.) We were already about 15 minutes late, due to some other factors, so tensions were running high. I was getting them together, when Matt walked up to the group. I was just about to call over to him, "Matt, get in line! We're going to gymnastics!" when I saw him. His hands, arms, and shins were covered with packed wet sand and dirt.

"Matt! What happened to you?" I cried out.

He looked at me, thrust his arms and hands in front of him and answered, "I'll wash my hands!" and hurried over to the drinking fountain.

Choking back exasperation and laughter (a rather odd combination, but ask anyone with kids or who works with kids and they will tell you they've experienced it) I said, "No, Matt, come here. We need to go to the bathroom."

I ushered him into the bathroom, followed by the 10 or so other children that were supposed to go to gymnastics. I shooed them out of the bathroom to wait with the gymnastics teacher and her assistant, while Matt rinsed wave after wave of dirt off of his hands and arms.

"Matt, what happened to you?" I asked again, while I wetted three sheets of paper towels in an attempt to deal with his muddy shins.

"I played in the dirt!" he answered, grinning from ear to ear.

Again, laughing to myself and lamenting the mess, I worked on wiping the mud off his shins. The paper towels at work are a joke. I think I was only succeeding in moving the mud around.

Just then the gymnastics assistant looked into the bathroom and laughed. "If I were you, " she said, "I'd just take off his shoes and socks and put him in the sink."

I paused for about two seconds, as Matt continued to rinse his hands. "You know, that's not a bad idea."

I started to undo Matt's converse and socks (which were equally caked with mud).

"What are you doing?" asked Matt.

"Putting you in the sink. Here, I'm going to pick you up, just hold on to me."

I picked him up and stuck his feet in the sink. With one arm secured tightly around his waist, I scrubbed the mud and dirt off one leg and then the other with my other hand. Matt was positively beaming.

Since we can't have the kids walking around with bare feet, I had to carry him up the stairs to gymnastics, and back down again when we were done. I laughed the entire way. Matt was ecstatic.

The best part? They couldn't get his shoes and socks clean for him to wear the rest of the day. So he had to wear the girl's faux leather costume boots from the dress-up box. When his dad came to pick him up, he didn't want to take them off...so he went home like that--all the while smiling his heart out.

I love my job. I love little boys, and I love that God created them to love making messes.

It sounds funny, but it was the moment that I hoisted Matt into the sink that made me 100% sure that one day I want to have sons just as much as I want to have daughters. They are so much fun. I found it extremely encouraging. :)
I hope this story brought as much joy to you as it brought to me...and to Matt. :)

Until next time!

Hannah

Walking on Water

I was sent home sick from work today. I think I'm getting a cold. I'm hoping to head it off at the pass, rather than be miserable for a week. However, I couldn't fall asleep, so I decided to have a quiet time instead. I was extremely encouraged by a very familiar passage. I hope you are too. :)

"Immediately he made the disciples get into the boat and go before him to the other side, while he dismissed the crowds. ²³And after he had dismissed the crowds, he went up on the mountain by himself to pray. When evening came, he was there alone, ²⁴but the boat by this time was a long way from the land, beaten by the waves, for the wind was against them. ²⁵And in the fourth watch of the night he came to them, walking on the sea. ²⁶But when the disciples saw him walking on the sea, they were terrified, and said, "It is a ghost!" and they cried out in fear. ²⁷But immediately Jesus spoke to them, saying, "Take heart; it is I. Do not be afraid." And Peter answered him, "Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water." ²⁹He said, "Come." So Peter got out of the boat and walked on the water and came to Jesus. ³⁰But when he saw the wind, he was afraid, and beginning to sink he cried out, "Lord, save me." ³¹Jesus immediately reached out his hand and took hold of him, saying to him,  "O you of little faith, why did you doubt?" ³²And when they got into the boat, the wind ceased. ³³And those in the boat worshiped him, saying, "Truly you are the Son of God." Matthew 14: 22-33

I don't know how many times I've heard this story. Truth be told, it's one of my favorites. I've heard a lot of sermons and talks on it too--it seems to be a favorite of many. Glad to know I'm in good company. But today I read it again, and I noticed some things that I hope will bring comfort to you. I may be stealing a little from sermons I've heard in the past, but when something clicks, I just feel compelled to share.

Whenever I've heard this story, it's usually in reference to a hardship going on in someone's life. People always say, "Trust the Lord. Jesus will calm the storm. Just look at Matthew 14."

That's true. Jesus is powerful to calm the storm. I think about that often. But upon reading this today, I was struck with something incredible that I'm not sure I noticed before: Why didn't Jesus calm the storm before asking Peter to walk on the water?

I know what you're thinking--because Jesus wanted to test his faith. True. But wouldn't it have been testing his faith enough to ask Peter to walk on water at all, let alone during a storm? I don't know about you guys, but I have never been able to walk on the water in my swimming pool, and it's definitely glassy calm out there. (And I've tried, trust me. Haha!) If Jesus asked me to walk on it right now, I would hope that I would trust Him to do it...but it would be a step of faith at all, just to avoid looking foolish.

It's incredible to me that Jesus chose to calm the storm after He asked Peter to walk on the water, and saved Him from drowning.

I think about the storms in my life. So often we want God to remove those storms. But He wants us to walk through them. I'm not implying that He is not faithful to calm the storm, but rather that He is also faithful to sustain us through the storm...even when we falter like Peter does here.

I love Peter. He's my favorite disciple. He's so genuine. He wants so badly to follow Jesus, and has such incredible intentions. He always chases after Him with 110%, and always falls on his face. And yet, Jesus still loves Him.


I find that so encouraging. How many times do I strive after Jesus and fall flat on my face? Too many to count, friends. And yet, Jesus still loves me, and is not only willing to calm the storm, but also will sustain me in it. He asks me to trust Him in the storm, not simply to trust Him to make it disappear. In that way, the storm seems like a huge blessing to me.


I love those stories. I love seeing God's goodness and faithfulness to sustain me through the storm and to redeem me when I fail. It makes me want to walk on water that much more.


It's nice, because right now I feel like I'm in a rut. I'm in what I've been calling a "waiting period", and sometimes it really feels like a storm. Some days I am content, and others I cannot imagine being in this time for another second. It's been a step of faith to ask God to help sustain me daily.

I am so encouraged that Jesus asks us to trust Him in the midst of the storm, rather than to trust Him just to get rid of the storm. Because if He asks us to trust Him, it's because He is faithful to bring us through. And that is incredible to me.

Until next time! :)

En Route to Westfield, IN

The title of this blog would suggest that I am "en route" to Westfield, Indiana. How I wish that was true! :) However, it's not. But I just dropped my Keynote Staff Application off at the Post Office. Tomorrow it will be "en route".

It's been a long process. The application and DVD audition weighed a grand total of 1 pound and 6.7 ounces. As I was pulling into the Post Office I thought to myself, "I can't believe this process is over."

Then I laughed to myself and thought, "Oh, Hannah. It's far from over. This is just the beginning."

It's true. Turning in the application is the first step in a long list of steps. I am planning, if accepted, on going to the Summer Training. There was a lot of thought and prayer that went into that decision. God providing a job that conveniently lasts until June, and the ability to work there part-time later if I needed to, was a major contributing factor. I just wanted to get my application done and sent.

Basically that means that there is still a lot of waiting and a lot of trusting that will need to continue. Please continue to pray for that and that God would make all things clear in His timing and prepare my heart for His plans.

Thank you, everyone. And thank you for all the love and support during this time. :)

Until next time!

--Hannah

Ways a Four Year Can Make You Smile

Hello all! I blog, because I realize it's been a ridiculous amount of time since I last blogged. To tell you the truth, I've been a little busy, because 5 weeks ago I started working at the Oaks Children's Center! Thank you to those of you that prayed for me in regards to this particular job. God truly did answer.

I'm a Teacher's Aide for the Pre-Kindergarten classes. It's really incredible how I even got the job. As you all know, I had to take a summer school class to complete my last 4 units for UCI. It was for my Social and Behaviorial Sciences Gen Ed requirement. I decided to take Child Development, because I love kids and I thought it would be more interesting than some of the other options.

Because I took Child Development, I had to do 6 observations at a local Children's Center. I thought it would be easiest to choose The Oaks, because I'm familiar with the layout and the some of the staff, since I go to church there and used to be a janitor there. (Haha, funny who things turn out.)

As I was doing the observations, the director (Lori) of the pre-school suggested I fill out an application to be an Aide, because I had enough units. Of course, I said yes. (Did I mention how much I love kids?)

However, when I turned in the application, Lori seemed less than hopeful. Enrollment was down, and she wasn't sure they could hire me. I was super discouraged, but continued calling to make sure. About a week later, Lori called me back and told me that they did need some one to work the closing shift from 1:00 to 6:00 every day. Their numbers had increased. I said I'd take it, since part time was SO much better than nothing. She told me if their numbers continued to increase, she might need to move me to full-time, but she couldn't promise anything.

A week after I started, she had to move me to full-time. Their numbers have sky-rocketed. We currently have over 100 students, and more coming. Isn't God amazing? I love my job, and I love the kids. Here are some conversations that just might prove why. (The names have been ommitted).

Her: "Miss Hannah!"
Me: "Yes?"
Her: "If you hold this feather for a really long time, you'll turn into a bird."
Me: "Really? So when I see you on Monday, you'll be a bird?"
Her: "Yes."

Her: "I like Jesus, but not God."
Me: "...Why?"
Her: "Because Jesus has the same eyes as me."

Her: "Uh-oh! My pocket ripped."
Me: "Oops! We'll have to get your mommy to fix it."
Her: "...With duct tape?"

Her: *playing with my hair* "We're getting you ready for your date."
Me: "My date? Who am I going on a date with?"
Her: "Justin Bieber."

Me: *singing* "Jesus feeds His little lamb on the B-I-B-L-E."
Her: "That means you read the Bible."
Me: "That's right! What is the Bible?"
Her: "You read it."
Me: "Yes, but what is it?"
Her: "Umm...Jesus is in it."

Him: *giving her some flowers*
Me: "Why did you give her flowers?"
Him: "Because I love her."

Do I have the best job or what? :) Oh sure, there are the difficult kids, but I find them to be the most rewarding. My hope is that God will give me the energy and patience to be able to love on them in a way that assures them that He loves them even when their lives are hard or they make mistakes.

In other news, I am just an audition video away from being done with my Keynote application. Wow! It's been a long journey, and I trust it's not over. It's hard to see what's going to happen next, though i certainly have wasted some energy trying to figure it out by myself. I was encouraged the other day by a verse that said:

""In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps." Proverbs 16:9

That verse is my life in a nutshell. :) Please pray that the Lord would give me peace to wait for His perfect timing and to continue to seek Him, even when I am exhausted.

Thanks for reading everyone! Hopefully there will be more blogs posts soon! :)

Summer Fun and Future "Plans"

Hey friends! It's certainly been a while. When last we left off, I was working on graduating early. Well, that has occurred. On June 10, 2011 I walked across the stage at the Bren Events Center in my cap and gown. Well, actually my cap and Samantha Paul's gown, but you get the idea. My family came down to see me walk, even though they actually announced my name as "Kathryn Whyte". Wow. ;)

I'm not back at home, and I have finished the online class that stood between me and an actual diploma. It's crazy to think that at this time last year, I was blogging about the end of project--about how frustrated I was to have two more years of school left. Now here I am, graduated. God is crazy good.

At the beginning of July I got to spend 2 1/2 weeks with Corey Tindall. It was an excellent time. I flew to Indiana after he was done with Keynote Summer Project and got to see some of my favorite staff people: my family, Lindsay, Shawna, Dana and the Bongards--not to mention the students I got to see: Corey (obviously), Trevor (our drummer from Project), Mike (drummer from Swerve 2010), Derek (bassist from Young Isaac 2010), Jessica (my Project roommate), Nathan (percussionist from Young Isaac 2010), and Joey (Jessica's boyfriend and my cousin's best friend). It was an absolutely wonderful time.

After Indiana, Corey and I drove to Missouri where we stopped and stayed with his friend from Cru, Sarah. She's fantastic, and I had been dying to meet her. She took us to an excellent restaurant, let us jam on her family's instruments, and took us to church the following morning.

Then Corey and I finished the drive to Kansas where we spent 5 days with his family. They're all great, and his mom makes the best enchiladas I have ever had. I'm still dreaming about them. His sisters are tons of fun. We watched Pride and Prejudice one night together and had a great time laughing at Mr. Darcy's Pride...or is it Prejudice? ;) Either way, I don't like Mr. Darcy. Sorry for those of you who are fans of him.

While we were in Kansas, actually the night we got there, we ended up having to drive back to Warrensburg to see this woman:

Natasha Jackson! How I had missed her since Christmas. Oh my goodness, it had been too long. I teared up when I gave her a hug. She and Corey swapped Project stories, since she had just returned from a 7 week Project in Suva, Figi. We also got to meet her boyfriend, Kory.

Corey and I also went to Kansas State where he showed me around the exciting town of Manhattan. Haha. :) We went to one of the only coffee shops around--Ridina's. We also went hiking at the Kanza Prarie. It was beautiful.

On Friday of that week, Corey and I flew back to California. That was quite the trip. Very little sleep and no breakfast due to an early flight. It was a nightmare. I'm glad I was not handling that situation alone.

We got to hang out with my family for a couple of days before we drove down to San Diego for Mikala and Aaron's wedding. We stopped in Brea to meet up with my friend (and old Bible study leader) Sharalee. She was kind enough to let us stay with her so we wouldn't have to drive back to Bakersfield after the wedding. Here we are all spiffed up:

The wedding was absolutely stunning. As you can see, it was right on the water:

Corey got to meet a lot of my friends. I was so happy to see them greeting him like they'd known him for years. :) That warms my heart. Here's a picture of us at the reception. And no, I do not know who that guy in the background is...

After the wedding, we drove back to Brea and stayed the night with Sharalee. The next morning, Corey got to meet Dano before we headed to Irvine for the day. There he got to have Kean coffee. Erin took us, which was very fun. :)

And then we got to go to Newport Beach where we just happened to run into Emily my friend from home) and her dad. What are the odds? Emily was very happy to show Corey all the ocean creatures and how to make a "drip castle". :)

She also took fun pictures of us. I like the one above. :)

The rest of our trip was spent at home. Corey got to meet Bean, Shem, and their son-to-be! We also went and saw Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 with my brother. I was pretty stoked about it.

Corey left about a week and a half ago, and it's definitely been hard having him gone. God blessed our time together, and I miss him a lot. Prayerfully, we will see each other again soon. And until then, I thank God everyday for Skype and cell phones. :)

The transition to moving home and having no school ahead of me is definitely a strange one. I finished my class, and now I'm looking for a job--just while I'm here at home. I'm not loving the process, as it feels like nobody is hiring. However, I know God is faithful to provide.

I've also started filling out my Keynote staff application. That thing is a lot of work. It's definitely been exciting and scary filling it out. God is definitely teaching me how to trust Him with my future.

It's strange to look into my future and see...nothing. Well, not nothing, but at least no idea how or when I am going to get where I am going. I'm excited for what God has planned for the future, but I'm also thinking it's going to be a hard year. I would appreciate prayer for peace and continued trust in the Lord. :) Also, there is a job at my church's pre-school that they don't know if they can give me due to low enrollment. Please be praying that God would open the right doors.

Also I have a lot of friends who are currently raising support for missions related interships and summer project. Could you please be praying for: Corey, Erin, Desery, Arggi, Rachel, and Nate as they trust God with their finances?

Thanks to all of you for reading this entry! I apologize for the long wait. I hope it won't happen again, but I cannot guarantee anything. :P

--Hannah

Story Time

Hey y'all!

Let's cut right to the chase: My Spring Break was wonderful! :) Because I got to see this guy.

Corey came to visit me in California for Spring Break. It was fantastic. Among our adventures included Corey's first trip to both In N Out Burger and Yogurtland. That is some good stuff. :)

We visited UCI too, but didn't ever make it to the beach because the weather was awful. Who would have thought that if you choose to spend your Spring Break in California, it will be colder and more rainy than it is in Kansas just for that week? Haha!

He got to hang out with my family and meet my roommate (Erin) and some of my friends. I know they were all really excited to meet him. It was really fun and exciting, even if we all didn't get to hang out for super long. 

It was so awesome to have him here, since we haven't been in the same place since December, and won't be in the same place again until maybe July. Oh my beard. But God is so much bigger than 1600 miles, and (risking being extremely sappy) I'm super blessed to have Corey Tindall in my life. :)

The rest of my break was fun too. I got to sing in a high school friend's wedding. It rained and the wind was insane, but both the bride and the groom were beaming and that made the messed up hair and blue limbs worth it. It was truly gorgeous to see them exchange their vows and devote their relationship to Jesus. :)

Now commences the grueling last quarter of my college career. I've got to be honest, I'm really not a fan of getting back into the swing of classes. Spring Break was so great, and now I'm having to force myself to be productive again. I'm sure you all know the feeling.

I think the most irritating thing for me is that I'm super impatient about where my life is going. I've found myself looking forward to all the cool things that are coming, and being very frustrated that I have to wait for them.  Not that being excited about the future is wrong, but I'm not just excited--I'm pining. It's not the best the feeling.

Interestingly enough, I found wise words and solace from a book. Nope, not the Bible, folks. A textbook for my Beginning Fiction Writing class.

That may sound strange, but that's what happened. Tuesday afternoon I was sitting in my room trying to focus on reading this textbook, while all I wanted to do was get to what's next in my life, (without even fully being able to visualize that). I stumbled across this and it hit me like a ton of bricks.

"We live in a society that doesn't offer any support or approval from ventures that aren't clearly articulated and alligned for a goal. A writer gets past this. It's going to be a mess before you're finished, and you may not have a name for the mess or understand it's utilitarian purposes." -- Ron Carlson Writes A Story

Nuggets of wisdom from a textbook on how to write a compelling story.

And it got me thinking about how often we don't think of our lives as being a story. On Project we focused so much on figuring out our testimonies, but at Keynote they prefer to call them "stories". Testimony implies something grandiose and intimidating--a giant tale of how God rescued you from the depths of a heroine addiction after losing your entire family in some house fire.

And that isn't to say that things like that don't happen, because they do, and God is faithful to rescue us from them. However, most people don't have a testimony like that. This is where the story comes in. Stories are small episodes of your life, not the whole thing. One moment where God made Himself so real to you that you couldn't ignore Him.

And yet in ALL of that, we as humans are discontent in not knowing the ending of our stories. I know I am. I have to have every detail planned out. And if I don't get it just right the first time, I have trouble reassessing.

So when Ron Carlson (the author of my textbook) tells me that I need to approach writing a story without knowing the ending, without knowing the details of the plot, without even knowing the main characters' names...well, that's a foreign concept to me.

And yet that's how God asks us to approach life. He wants us to trust that He has your best interest at heart. He wants us to hold tightly to Him, rather than try to plan out our 5-year plan. (Not knowing the end of the story.)

Not that God wants us to all go out into some field wearing clothes made out of hemp, waiting for Him to come out of a cloud and drop us into the middle of a successful career or loving relationship. He does however, ask us to move trusting that He will direct and correct our paths. Kind of like a loving, omnipotent editor, if we're continuing with the short story analogy.

Anyway, I hope this intrigued some of you. :) 

If any of you out there are keeping score I would love prayer in this area of my life. That I would be clinging to God and not to my own plan for my life. (Because I'm slowly seeing that plan disolve. Haha!)

Also, on a more concrete note, I can already tell my Post Tonal Music theory class is going to be miserable. I have sat through 2 lectures and understood maybe 10% of what out professor is talking about. It's like someone took Calculus and shoved it into music.

Thanks for reading everyone! Until next time!

--Hannah

So Much More Than Enough

Hey friends! 

It's Finals Week. Finally. I have been counting down the days until the end of the quarter all quarter long. Mostly, because Corey Tindall will be in Bakersfield in a grand total of 8 days! I'm so excited, but more about that in another blog entry. :)

My Finals Week was supposed to be pretty gross. I had two papers due today, my Piano final, and both my Psych final and my Music Analysis final tomorrow morning, back to back. Psych from 8:00--10:00 and Analysis from 10:30--12:30. Then absolutely nothing until Friday at 10:30.

I've been studying for Psych and Analysis all weekend, and I finished up my papers at the end of last week. So it's been a busy last few weeks.

Most of you will remember from my previous posts that I have to take a Piano Proficiency Exam in order to graduate. It's been really hard, but I have been feeling alright. God has blessed me in the fact that I've made a lot of progress. I still am terrible at sight-reading Bach Chorales, but I still have one more quarter.

Last Friday, I took a mock-Piano Proficiency Exam, and as expected I was good at the pieces I've been learning, and good at the transposition section. However, I botched the Chorale.

My professor said kindly, "I think you'll probably pass next quarter." I said I agreed and that I wasn't planning on passing, but that I just wanted the experience.

I spent the weekend studying for my Psych and Analysis finals, and practicing my piano pieces. Today I went to take my Proficiency Exam.

This is how it went:

I played the piece, "Toccatina" and made a rhythm mistake at the end. My professor reminded me to count and asked me to play it again. 

I played the Chorale, and in my opinion took it to a whole new level of awful. I made rhythm mistakes, note mistakes and in places didn't play my left and right hand at the same time. 

I played the transposition and missed the F# in the key of G.

It was a rough exam, but I just wanted the experience.

I left the room at 10 seconds later, my TA ran down the hallway:

TA: "Hannah! Wait!"

Me: "Yeah?"

TA: "You passed."

Me: "WHAT?!"

TA: "You passed. Come back real quick."

Me: "Are you serious?"

TA: "Yes. Come back."

I walked back to the testing room and my professor smiled at me and said, "Congratulations! You passed!"

Me: "Are you sure...?"

Professor: *laughs* "Yes. You could have played it a little faster, but congratulations! You passed!"

I have never been so floored in my entire life. I didn't deserve that. I did not meet the qualifications. Maybe they took pity on me. Maybe my staying after class, and making progress paid off. I don't know, but whatever the reason I know one thing: God was totally present in that room today. I think He told them to pass me in those 10 seconds I was out of the room.

It's moments like this that make me think, "How can we deny the existence of God?" It seems utterly impossible to me.

Not that I've needed more, but I've been praying for more and more confirmation that I am supposed to graduate early and join Keynote staff. The path God has placed me on has been clear, but the future has felt distant and fuzzy. And thus I've been continuously praying that God would remind me what it is He's doing. Today I heard His voice whisper, "I've got this. You just keep walking down this road. Just keep trusting Me."

I'm astounded. Passing the Piano Proficiency Exam at the end of Spring quarter would have been enough. Passing it this early is more than enough. God is SO much more than enough. :)

I was so excited that I came home and made gourmet macaroni and cheese with bacon. Here's a picture. It's got gouda and sharp white cheddar cheese and apple-wood smoked bacon. Yummy! :D

I hope this story was encouraging to all of you. :) Good luck on Finals. Always remember Who gives you the strength to study and Who gifted you with that brilliant mind to pass those finals! :)

--Hannah

Valentine's Day

Hey there everyone! Happy Valentine's Day! :)

Most of you proably already know this, for those of you who didn't, I'm dating Corey Tindall. :D Most of you probably know him, but if you don't you probably recognize his name from my previous posts. He was the bass player in my band on Project and we've been really good friends ever since. In January we made it official. :) He's dee behst! (Nacho Libre reference, anybody?)

Now I truly cannot contain myself and simply MUST tell you how my day went. I woke up this morning in a lot of pain and feeling kind of sick. I tweaked out my back yesterday, and because of that I slept not much at all, thus feeling sick in the morning. However, I resolved to do my laundry and homework and try to go to class.

I decided to leave for piano class and ask my TA if I could just play for him and then leave, because my back was hurting so badly. I was about half way to my car when I saw a Fed-Ex truck pull up in front of my apartment. My roommate, Shelsea, tends to get a lot of stuff in the mail, so I thought it must be for her. However, since nobody was home I ran back over the apartment. This is how the conversation went.

Me: "Excuse me! Hi. I live there, but nobody's home right now."

Fed-Ex Guy: "Oh. Well, are you Hannah?"

Me: "Yes..."

Fed-Ex Guy: "Well then, here you go!"

He handed me a box. It was 18 long stemmed roses from Corey Tindall. 

I was so surprised and thrilled! And I just had to share it with the few of you that read this blog. Haha!

Oh, and he also made me a video of himself singing and playing "Brown Eyed Girl" on the guitar. I think that is what truly won over my heart. :)

Thanks for putting up with my obnoxious bragging, everyone. Happy Valentine's Day! :)

--Hannah

The Light

Hey Internet family and friends! It's been a little bit since I've blogged something other than lyrics. Although, I think song lyrics say so much. I'm rather fond of them. :) If you're lucky, I'll probably share some in this blog.

School, honestly, has been kind of gross. I'm not a fan of 4 out of 5 of my classes. I've shared with you all that I really felt that God impressed upon me to pursue graduating early this year. I have thrown myself head-first into making that happen, and it's definitely proving to be hard work. 

You see, there's this piano class that I'm taking. It's not required, but since I haven't played piano since I was about 10 years old, I decided that it would be beneficial to take the class. I have to pass a "Piano Proficiency" exam in order to graduate, and this class is supposed to prepare you for it.

I'm so grateful that the class is offered, because without it I would not know what I didn't know. And trust me when I tell you that there is A LOT I don't know. I kind of feel like an 8 year-old learning how to play piano again.

The good news is that I'm making steady progress, and God is so much bigger than some stupid piano class. All I can do is trust in His plan for me. If I don't pass the class by the end of the year, I'll have to take an extra quarter of school and pay rent all summer. However, the truth of the matter is that God is in control, and He's definitely teaching me about discipline in this class. How often do I give Him control in other areas of my life, even ones that feel a lot bigger than this, and then cling so hard to the little things that I think I CAN control? I laught at myself sometimes.

The other thing is that I'm taking the Psychology class from Hell. No seriously, it's awful. It claims to be a Psychology class, but honestly it feels like some warped religion class in disguise. I sit there for an hour and half twice a week feeling like my beliefs and world-views are being attacked. It's been the worst class I've ever taken at UCI, and I've had some distressing classes. It feels like I'm going into battle every time I go to the class. 

Actually, it is a battle. Yesterday, I left the class feeling completely defeated. If felt like, "If I can't even handle this, how I am claiming to want to be a missionary with me life?" Lies from all sides.

I feel like my level of spiritual attack had doubled in the last year. I mean, sure I've gone through some rough things, but I haven't felt this amount of lies, fear and doubt combined. Usually, it's just one or another. I left the class and immediately journaled and God brought this verse to my mind:

"For this reason, I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of hands, for God gave us a spirit not of fear, but of power and love and self-control." 2 Timothy 1:6-7

It was amazing. I know this class is hard, but I know that God is bigger than all of this. And while I cannot see the good in it now, I'm sure He will use it in my life. I also know that God has called me to apply to Keynote, and no amount of fear and doubt will shake me of that conviction.

I've had some wonderful people in my life remind me of these facts. They are such an encouragement. :)

I recently discovered that "The Light" by Sara Bareilles is my new favorite song. I don't know if Sara Bareilles is a Christian, but she is such an insightful lyricist. I'm assuming this song is about a relationship, but for the life of me I cannot listen to it without hearing that it's about Jesus, except for her saying "babe" a couple times. However, it's been tugging at my heart the last couple days. Here are the lyrics. :)

"The Light" by Sara Bareilles

In the morning it comes,

Heaven sent a hurricane.

Not a trace of the sun,

But I don't even run from rain.

Beating out of my chest,

My heart is holding on to You,

From the moment I knew,

From the moment I knew.

---

You're the air in my breath,

Filling up my love-soaked lungs.

Such a beautiful mess,

Intertwined and overrun.

Nothing better than this,

Knowing that the storm can come.

You feel just like the sun,

Just like the sun.

---

And You say "It'll be alright",

I'm gonna trust You, babe,

I'm gonna look in Your eyes.

And You say "It'll be alright",

I'll follow You into

The light.

---

Never mind what I knew,

Nothing seems to matter now.

Oh, who I was without You, I can do without.

No one know where it ends,

How it may come tumbling down,

But I'm hear with You now, 

I'm with You now.

---

And You say "It'll be alright",

I'm gonna trust You, babe,

I'm gonna look in Your eyes.

And You say "It'll be alright",

I'll follow You into

The light.

---

Let the world come rushing in

Come down hard come crushing,

All I need, is right here beside me

And all the love I'm swearing,

Take my love and wear it over Your shoulders

---

And if You say, "It'll be alright"

I'm gonna trust You, babe

And You say "It'll be alright"

I'll follow You into 

The light

The light

The light

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8EwjBKzBYW8

Thanks for reading, everybody! I'd love to also tell you that not everything in my life is a struggle right now. A lot of things are going wonderfully. I'm extremely blessed. :) But I do tell you all of this, because I want you to know, so that I can ask you to pray for me. It's going to be an intense rest of the year, but good. :)

"Beloved"

I've been meaning to blog recently, but I haven't found much of a spare moment. This quarter has been insanely busy, and honestly I'm counting down the days until it's over. 53 days until my last final. Oh boy.

But I have been so struck by this song in the past few months, and this morning I woke up with it stuck in my head. :) It's called "Beloved" by Tenth Avenue North.

I'm all about images, and this is such a gorgeous picture of how my Jesus loves us. I just wanted to write down the lyrics for you guys, and hopefully you love it as much as I do. :)

Soon I'll update my blog for real. :)

---

Love of my life,

Look deep in My eyes,

There you will find what you need.

Give Me your life,

The lust and the lies,

The past you're afraid I might see.

You've been running away from Me.

---

You're my beloved.

Lover, I'm yours.

Death shall not part us.

It's you I died for.

For better or worse,

Forever we'll be.

My life it unites us,

And it binds you to Me.

It's a mystery...

---

Love of My life,

Look deep in My eyes,

There you will find what you need.

I'm the giver of life.

I'll clothe you in white.

My immaculate bride you will be.

Oh, come running home to Me.

---

You're My beloved.

Lover, I'm yours.

Death shall not part us.

It's you I died for.

For better or worse,

Forever we'll be.

My love it unites us,

And it binds you to Me.

---

You've been a mistress My wife,

Chasing lovers that won't satisfy.

Won't you let Me make you My bride?

You will drink of My lips

And you'll taste new life.

---

You're My beloved,

Lover, I'm yours.

Death shall not part us.

It's you I died for.

For better or worse,

Forever we'll be.

My love it unites us,

And it binds you to Me.

It's a mystery...

"Beloved"--Tenth Avenue North

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6CUGTIWCFyo&NR=1

Blessings Beyond Compare

Hello friends, family and both. :) I'm currently sitting in my living room in Bakersfield, because the grapevine is closed due to snow, so I have no way of getting back to school. It's the first day of the Winter Quarter, but I suppose I will just have to wait it out. And thus, I will update my blog. 

It's been quite an eventful break. I spent one week at home, then drove to Kansas to see my dad's family. It was so much fun to see Uncle Tim, Aunt Rena, and the cousins, not to mention the baby cousins. Emily makes my heart smile. :)

Not only did I get to see my awesome Whyte family, but I also got to see three of my favorite people in the entire world! Corey, Natasha and Tim drove out to Wichita to spend the afternoon with me. It was so wonderful to see them! :)

We didn't get a very decent picture of all four of us, but here's Natasha and me. :) I love this woman.

After Kansas, we drove to Texas and spent about a week with the Fackler family. I love the Fackler family. They are just ridiculous. I can't help but think everytime I'm with them that if a non-family member were to hang out with us, they'd probably think we were insane. I absolutely adore them.

Christmas was great, just hanging out with family. On December 26th, my uncle and I flew out of Dallas to San Diego for the San Diego Winter Conference. We had to be there two days before the conference started, because the worship band was having rehearsals. Everyone in the band got there on that day, and we started rehearsing our sets right away.

The conference was...incredible. Honestly, I came with pretty high expectations, because last year my life was completely changed by it. I couldn't help but think about who I was last year as I went through this past week.

Last year, I was fresh out of the worst year of my life, but God has brought me through, and I was eager to follow Him through the doors He had provided for me. I didn't know what those were, but at Winter Conference God pressed upon me to go on Keynote Summer Project. Ultimately, God used conference for that and to change the direction of my major.

Now here I was, standing in the same room, having gone on Project, changed the direction of my major, and given the opportunity to graduate a year early. I felt so much older than I felt last year, and I no idea what to do with that.

The conference was incredible. All the speakers talked about not wasting your life, which is common for college conferences. I knew I was planning on applying to Keynote staff, but for some reason I wasn't feeling as passionate as I had been. Spritual attack.

On New Year's Eve we got to see a 1 1/2 hour long one-man drama called The Bema. It was all about the second coming of Christ, and the judgement that will take place for Christians. Now this judgment isn't about your sin, but rather what you've done for the kingdom of God while you're on earth. It says in the book of Revelation that we will be rewarded for our faithfulness to what God has called us to do.

The play showed us the life of a fictional middle-aged business man named Daniel Matthewson. He was wealthy and extremely blessed, but he chose to strive for his own ambitions rather than the kingdom of God. When he approached the throne of Jesus, Jesus said to him, "Oh, Daniel. I blessed you so much. I gave you the gift of teaching, and you did not use it. I gave you so much money...and you did nothing with it." 

Of course, Jesus loved him unconditionally, but the image was very powerful. How many of us want to get to Heaven and NOT hear Jesus say, "Well done, my good and faithful servant"? That would be awful. I know I definitely want to hear Him say that to me.

Lately, I've been second guessing my blessings, specifically the blessing of having the opportunity to graduate early. I keep asking, "Is this from You, God?" He blessed me with a lot in my life: a good education, the opportunity to graduate early, wonderful friends, parents that love and support me. 

And the question from The Bema rang loudly in my ears, "What did you do with the blessings I gave you?" 

It was at that moment that I came to my decision that I talked to you guys about in the last entry. I heard the answer loudly and clearly. God willing, I am graduating this summer and I am applying to Keynote staff as soon as possible. :) 

I loved Winter Conference, and it did not disappoint. It was amazing. I am consistently being changed forever because of the way God uses those conferences and the people He has placed in my life. My prayer is that I will talk less and listen louder to His voice as I continue to grow into the woman He wants me to be. 

The SDWC Worship band eating dinner together back stage on New Year's Eve.

Our epic SDWC 2010 band photo, minus Allie. Sad day, she had to leave.

Thanks for reading everyone! Continue to follow as we all make these next steps in our lives. :)

--Hannah