The Light

Hey Internet family and friends! It's been a little bit since I've blogged something other than lyrics. Although, I think song lyrics say so much. I'm rather fond of them. :) If you're lucky, I'll probably share some in this blog.

School, honestly, has been kind of gross. I'm not a fan of 4 out of 5 of my classes. I've shared with you all that I really felt that God impressed upon me to pursue graduating early this year. I have thrown myself head-first into making that happen, and it's definitely proving to be hard work. 

You see, there's this piano class that I'm taking. It's not required, but since I haven't played piano since I was about 10 years old, I decided that it would be beneficial to take the class. I have to pass a "Piano Proficiency" exam in order to graduate, and this class is supposed to prepare you for it.

I'm so grateful that the class is offered, because without it I would not know what I didn't know. And trust me when I tell you that there is A LOT I don't know. I kind of feel like an 8 year-old learning how to play piano again.

The good news is that I'm making steady progress, and God is so much bigger than some stupid piano class. All I can do is trust in His plan for me. If I don't pass the class by the end of the year, I'll have to take an extra quarter of school and pay rent all summer. However, the truth of the matter is that God is in control, and He's definitely teaching me about discipline in this class. How often do I give Him control in other areas of my life, even ones that feel a lot bigger than this, and then cling so hard to the little things that I think I CAN control? I laught at myself sometimes.

The other thing is that I'm taking the Psychology class from Hell. No seriously, it's awful. It claims to be a Psychology class, but honestly it feels like some warped religion class in disguise. I sit there for an hour and half twice a week feeling like my beliefs and world-views are being attacked. It's been the worst class I've ever taken at UCI, and I've had some distressing classes. It feels like I'm going into battle every time I go to the class. 

Actually, it is a battle. Yesterday, I left the class feeling completely defeated. If felt like, "If I can't even handle this, how I am claiming to want to be a missionary with me life?" Lies from all sides.

I feel like my level of spiritual attack had doubled in the last year. I mean, sure I've gone through some rough things, but I haven't felt this amount of lies, fear and doubt combined. Usually, it's just one or another. I left the class and immediately journaled and God brought this verse to my mind:

"For this reason, I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of hands, for God gave us a spirit not of fear, but of power and love and self-control." 2 Timothy 1:6-7

It was amazing. I know this class is hard, but I know that God is bigger than all of this. And while I cannot see the good in it now, I'm sure He will use it in my life. I also know that God has called me to apply to Keynote, and no amount of fear and doubt will shake me of that conviction.

I've had some wonderful people in my life remind me of these facts. They are such an encouragement. :)

I recently discovered that "The Light" by Sara Bareilles is my new favorite song. I don't know if Sara Bareilles is a Christian, but she is such an insightful lyricist. I'm assuming this song is about a relationship, but for the life of me I cannot listen to it without hearing that it's about Jesus, except for her saying "babe" a couple times. However, it's been tugging at my heart the last couple days. Here are the lyrics. :)

"The Light" by Sara Bareilles

In the morning it comes,

Heaven sent a hurricane.

Not a trace of the sun,

But I don't even run from rain.

Beating out of my chest,

My heart is holding on to You,

From the moment I knew,

From the moment I knew.

---

You're the air in my breath,

Filling up my love-soaked lungs.

Such a beautiful mess,

Intertwined and overrun.

Nothing better than this,

Knowing that the storm can come.

You feel just like the sun,

Just like the sun.

---

And You say "It'll be alright",

I'm gonna trust You, babe,

I'm gonna look in Your eyes.

And You say "It'll be alright",

I'll follow You into

The light.

---

Never mind what I knew,

Nothing seems to matter now.

Oh, who I was without You, I can do without.

No one know where it ends,

How it may come tumbling down,

But I'm hear with You now, 

I'm with You now.

---

And You say "It'll be alright",

I'm gonna trust You, babe,

I'm gonna look in Your eyes.

And You say "It'll be alright",

I'll follow You into

The light.

---

Let the world come rushing in

Come down hard come crushing,

All I need, is right here beside me

And all the love I'm swearing,

Take my love and wear it over Your shoulders

---

And if You say, "It'll be alright"

I'm gonna trust You, babe

And You say "It'll be alright"

I'll follow You into 

The light

The light

The light

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8EwjBKzBYW8

Thanks for reading, everybody! I'd love to also tell you that not everything in my life is a struggle right now. A lot of things are going wonderfully. I'm extremely blessed. :) But I do tell you all of this, because I want you to know, so that I can ask you to pray for me. It's going to be an intense rest of the year, but good. :)

"Beloved"

I've been meaning to blog recently, but I haven't found much of a spare moment. This quarter has been insanely busy, and honestly I'm counting down the days until it's over. 53 days until my last final. Oh boy.

But I have been so struck by this song in the past few months, and this morning I woke up with it stuck in my head. :) It's called "Beloved" by Tenth Avenue North.

I'm all about images, and this is such a gorgeous picture of how my Jesus loves us. I just wanted to write down the lyrics for you guys, and hopefully you love it as much as I do. :)

Soon I'll update my blog for real. :)

---

Love of my life,

Look deep in My eyes,

There you will find what you need.

Give Me your life,

The lust and the lies,

The past you're afraid I might see.

You've been running away from Me.

---

You're my beloved.

Lover, I'm yours.

Death shall not part us.

It's you I died for.

For better or worse,

Forever we'll be.

My life it unites us,

And it binds you to Me.

It's a mystery...

---

Love of My life,

Look deep in My eyes,

There you will find what you need.

I'm the giver of life.

I'll clothe you in white.

My immaculate bride you will be.

Oh, come running home to Me.

---

You're My beloved.

Lover, I'm yours.

Death shall not part us.

It's you I died for.

For better or worse,

Forever we'll be.

My love it unites us,

And it binds you to Me.

---

You've been a mistress My wife,

Chasing lovers that won't satisfy.

Won't you let Me make you My bride?

You will drink of My lips

And you'll taste new life.

---

You're My beloved,

Lover, I'm yours.

Death shall not part us.

It's you I died for.

For better or worse,

Forever we'll be.

My love it unites us,

And it binds you to Me.

It's a mystery...

"Beloved"--Tenth Avenue North

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6CUGTIWCFyo&NR=1

Blessings Beyond Compare

Hello friends, family and both. :) I'm currently sitting in my living room in Bakersfield, because the grapevine is closed due to snow, so I have no way of getting back to school. It's the first day of the Winter Quarter, but I suppose I will just have to wait it out. And thus, I will update my blog. 

It's been quite an eventful break. I spent one week at home, then drove to Kansas to see my dad's family. It was so much fun to see Uncle Tim, Aunt Rena, and the cousins, not to mention the baby cousins. Emily makes my heart smile. :)

Not only did I get to see my awesome Whyte family, but I also got to see three of my favorite people in the entire world! Corey, Natasha and Tim drove out to Wichita to spend the afternoon with me. It was so wonderful to see them! :)

We didn't get a very decent picture of all four of us, but here's Natasha and me. :) I love this woman.

After Kansas, we drove to Texas and spent about a week with the Fackler family. I love the Fackler family. They are just ridiculous. I can't help but think everytime I'm with them that if a non-family member were to hang out with us, they'd probably think we were insane. I absolutely adore them.

Christmas was great, just hanging out with family. On December 26th, my uncle and I flew out of Dallas to San Diego for the San Diego Winter Conference. We had to be there two days before the conference started, because the worship band was having rehearsals. Everyone in the band got there on that day, and we started rehearsing our sets right away.

The conference was...incredible. Honestly, I came with pretty high expectations, because last year my life was completely changed by it. I couldn't help but think about who I was last year as I went through this past week.

Last year, I was fresh out of the worst year of my life, but God has brought me through, and I was eager to follow Him through the doors He had provided for me. I didn't know what those were, but at Winter Conference God pressed upon me to go on Keynote Summer Project. Ultimately, God used conference for that and to change the direction of my major.

Now here I was, standing in the same room, having gone on Project, changed the direction of my major, and given the opportunity to graduate a year early. I felt so much older than I felt last year, and I no idea what to do with that.

The conference was incredible. All the speakers talked about not wasting your life, which is common for college conferences. I knew I was planning on applying to Keynote staff, but for some reason I wasn't feeling as passionate as I had been. Spritual attack.

On New Year's Eve we got to see a 1 1/2 hour long one-man drama called The Bema. It was all about the second coming of Christ, and the judgement that will take place for Christians. Now this judgment isn't about your sin, but rather what you've done for the kingdom of God while you're on earth. It says in the book of Revelation that we will be rewarded for our faithfulness to what God has called us to do.

The play showed us the life of a fictional middle-aged business man named Daniel Matthewson. He was wealthy and extremely blessed, but he chose to strive for his own ambitions rather than the kingdom of God. When he approached the throne of Jesus, Jesus said to him, "Oh, Daniel. I blessed you so much. I gave you the gift of teaching, and you did not use it. I gave you so much money...and you did nothing with it." 

Of course, Jesus loved him unconditionally, but the image was very powerful. How many of us want to get to Heaven and NOT hear Jesus say, "Well done, my good and faithful servant"? That would be awful. I know I definitely want to hear Him say that to me.

Lately, I've been second guessing my blessings, specifically the blessing of having the opportunity to graduate early. I keep asking, "Is this from You, God?" He blessed me with a lot in my life: a good education, the opportunity to graduate early, wonderful friends, parents that love and support me. 

And the question from The Bema rang loudly in my ears, "What did you do with the blessings I gave you?" 

It was at that moment that I came to my decision that I talked to you guys about in the last entry. I heard the answer loudly and clearly. God willing, I am graduating this summer and I am applying to Keynote staff as soon as possible. :) 

I loved Winter Conference, and it did not disappoint. It was amazing. I am consistently being changed forever because of the way God uses those conferences and the people He has placed in my life. My prayer is that I will talk less and listen louder to His voice as I continue to grow into the woman He wants me to be. 

The SDWC Worship band eating dinner together back stage on New Year's Eve.

Our epic SDWC 2010 band photo, minus Allie. Sad day, she had to leave.

Thanks for reading everyone! Continue to follow as we all make these next steps in our lives. :)

--Hannah